Ambien. No doubt about it.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Randomize
