..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I wish you could order shots online.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
