"it" just moved
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize