I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
Randomize