Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Randomize
