Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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