I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
