Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Terrible idea I love it
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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