Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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