So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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