Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Randomize
