Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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