Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize