You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
