..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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