I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Randomize
