She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
