I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
