Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car