i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Randomize
