Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
