You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles