I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected