sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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