i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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