If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Randomize