let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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