guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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