you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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