You really coming over, don't trick.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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