i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
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