Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Randomize
