Are we in a gay sports bar?
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
