weddingsv make me drug and hornr
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
We're not piercing ourselves today.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Randomize
