Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Randomize