just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize