Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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