Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
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