apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Randomize
