i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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