You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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