he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
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