We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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