Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Randomize
