He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
pray to the hookup gods
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that