Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Randomize
