If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
My liver just had a heart attack.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
