I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
porn star boner night. come get it.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
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