Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
No I am not eating basil off your cock
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize
