C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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