WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
He did a backflip because drugs
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