someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Verdict: uncircumcised.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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