once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
