Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Randomize
