So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
