I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize