YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Randomize
