That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
