Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Randomize
